People think that I’m a horse because of my ugly horse face. When I go to the track, everybody thinks that I’m there to race. I look so much like… Read more »

I own a beauty parlor but I always get things wrong. Last week I left a lady under the dryer far too long. She was under the dryer for hours… Read more »

I’m Boss Hogg and Rosco keeps trying to eat my food. It’s been my dream to see Daisy Duke in the nude. The Duke boys keep fighting me because I’m… Read more »

I’m having to save a lady from an ape that’s strong. He throws barrels at me and his name is Donkey Kong. I have to ride on elevators and conveyor… Read more »

Doctor Claw was an evil genius and he committed many crimes. If it wasn’t for Penny and her dog, he would’ve won every time. The note would blow up in… Read more »

My remote control can mute my TV, I wish it could mute my wife. She always nags and argues and I’m doomed to hear her for life. I couldn’t even… Read more »

When I call the cool girls phat, they think I’m calling them fat. They get very offended and angry when I call them that. When I call them phat, they… Read more »

I cheated when I went to the electrician school. I don’t know what I’m doing, I am truly a fool. I always screw up every house that I wire. When… Read more »

Something happened that was both unexpected and great. By some miracle, I’ve been elected President of the United States. I got 535 electoral votes and Romney got three. Obama didn’t… Read more »