Lying in my bed in a bad mood for the first time in my life went to the eye doctor today she basically said I’m going blind so we need a way for that to stop so I might have to have surgery on my eyes that’s gone hurt like hell now I’m just wondering g is it really worth going threw all this struggle in my life when I can just end it in a second my life has never been easy I have never had anything handed to me my whole life I have had to earn everything I got today people think they want to be like me they think I’ve got it all I’m happy and perfect but I’m not sometimes I feel like I don’t have a purpose in life I feel like I don’t belong here on this world we call earth I feel like I’m worth less like no one needs me I want to do something great in life to change man kind but I fear that I will just screw it all up and only make things worst for my self why do I still live my life when I can end It in a second because I don’t want him to get the satisfaction of me dying because of my no-ledge or how he effected my life I’m not doing any of this for him or for nobody I’m doing this for me and only me i want to live but do I really because live is spelled evil backwards does that mean I want to live an evil life I don’t know I guess ill find out later on in my life